Days and Nights, the Sun and the Moon
by VArt-Linsey
Summary: A series of one shots. It won't contain names that way you can make it as personal as you want to.
1. Piece by Piece

Piece by piece

We were together but we weren't. Yes we had a relationship but it was one sided. You were stoic, closed off. I offered you my help but you turned me down. You made me feel weak. I didn't have anything you could use, so I was worthless.

I was a fragile ball, being controlled by your hands. I loved you, I trusted you. You let me fall, and I shattered. I fell apart. The last thing scribbled in my mind was, your back. From when you got up and left. Leaving me in your past.

I followed you, traveled all those miles to see you. Begged you to want me, but you didn't want to. Once again you left, leaving me without any hope. I was weak and broken but started the journey to find the me I used to be.

Then I met him, he picked me up piece by piece. He restored my faith, that a man could be kind and that he could stay. He restored the holes you burned in me. Now I got my life back together, and you want me.


	2. My Lighthouse

Lighthouse

I ran through the rooms until I finally reached the balcony. I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh air. The salty air filling my lungs. I gripped the railing so hard that my knuckles turned white.

After all those years he still haunted me. He left me behind, left me in the dark. He chased after her because she made him happy, the way I didn't. I had never felt so heartbroken. I never knew what they meant with a constant ache in your chest, losing part of your soul. Now I do.

He looked the same as 5 years ago. But instead of me on his arm, he had her. She noticed me staring and kissed him, just to prove that he wasn't mine anymore. I couldn't watch them be all lovey dovey, so I ran. And ended up here.

Tears streamed down my face as the ache in my chest grew. The wind rushed through my hair, letting it fly side to side. There was a storm going on, but I didn't care. I never wanted to go in there again. I never want to feel again. I never want to return to my life again.

I climbed onto the railing, watching the waves crash against the poles beneath me. The ocean, a deep dark mystery. One that I would have liked to investigate. A lightning bold appeared in the middle of the ocean. It broke through the darkness.

The light will always guide my way. It will always find your home. So it will find mine. My tears dropped into the ocean, drop by drop. There was no one who cared about me, no family, no friends and not the love of my life. They'd move on.

The thunder neared, it was time to go. I swallowed my tears and whispered to myself "I cannot live like this anymore, hiding in the dark. You were my lighthouse, my only light. You're gone and I have to find my own. No matter what I never stopped loving you." I heard the door behind me open. I didn't turn around, I didn't have to, I knew it was him. I looked down and swallowed.

I let go. Joining the mystery of the ocean. Joining the thunder crashing into the ocean. Because no matter what, the light will guide my way.


	3. Imagination

Imagination

We walked along the beaches. We held hands. We kissed. We were made for each other. Until he came along. He swept you off your feet and out of my grasp.

You used to walk by my house everyday. I wanted to tell you how beautiful you are, from where I was standing. I kept thinking about who we could be. Because I kept craving over you. I couldn't stop the words I would be saying to you. I couldn't wait anymore.

It's been a few months now without you and I am wandering on the beach. The place where we used to go. I look up and see you there. I want to tell you how beautiful you are, from where I am standing. I keep thinking about we have been. I keep thinking you would belong to me forever.

In my dreams you are with me. We are everything I wanted us to be. Was it just me or my imagination? I keep craving you, no matter what.

I stand still with my feet in the sand. Even though it's warm outside, I felt ice cold. You are now walking hand in hand with him. I stop and stare. It's like you felt my stare because you turned your head and looked right at me. I think I saw hurt cross your face but that could also be my imagination.

A lone tear slid down my face. I was never one of crying but losing you, made my heart shatter. I guess in the end I am just not good enough.


	4. Haunted

Haunted

I walked through the throng of people that were scattered all over the dance floor. Bodies grinding against each other. Sweat filled the air. Drinks spilled on the ground.

I sat at the bar drowning a few shots. The bartender looking at me concerned but I really didn't give two fucks. I smirked and drowned another glass. I am hollow, numb.

I turn and watch the crowd. I can't find what keeps me here but there is something. Something here in the air or is it something that is haunting me.

I felt your breath against my neck, whispering words into my ear. I can feel your lips against me neck when I realised something. This wasn't you, you are only haunting me.

I can feel you pull me down. I won't let you pull me down. I threw cash on the bar and ran out. Into the dark, dark streets. Streets filled with criminals, hookers and ghosts.

Your ghost is haunting me. I feel you breathing in my neck, your aura giving me chills all over. I ran and ran. Until I had to stop. I stood in the middle of a road. I saw a car coming towards me. I looked closely, not making any move to dodge the car. It was you. You were driving straight at me and I was a deer, caught in your headlights.


	5. You are beautiful

You are beautiful

She sits there, shoulders hunched together. Bowed over the table. She stares at it deep in thought. You and I both know that you are insecure. I can see it and I feel your pain but girl I have been through the same. I found my way out and how much you try to deny it, you will get out.

I know that you want to change the way you are and the way you look. You want to be sculpted into perfection. You want to be the person that anyone likes but do you really? Perfection is boring. Everyone will like you, don't they? You are surrounded all the time, no privacy, no free time do you really want that?

I know it all seems impossible right now but there is a hope hiding in the dark. You don't see it. You don't understand it. You are pure, not fake like all the others. That's what real beauty goals are. You don't have to change, you are beautiful just the way you are.

No matter what colour your skin is, your eyes, your hair, no matter what style you have, how tall you are, who you are, YOU are goddamn beautiful. Even if you don't feel that way, everyone is beautiful. Just be you because nothing is more perfect than being yourself. No one can replace you and yes that's a good thing. Don't starve yourself, don't cut yourself, don't hate yourself because the only one that will stick by your side the rest of your life is you!

So don't be a stubborn ass and just accept that you are beautiful!


	6. Broken Wings

Broken Wings

People call me an angel but am I working for the light or the dark? Or isn't there a thing called the good and bad side? Are we all bad? Who knows? But what I do know is that even though people say they will help you, they won't.

Remember those days where I told you my story? Remember those days I cried because of it. Remember when I cried because you hurt me but I forgave you! Remember when you told me you were sorry and would help me? WHERE IS YOUR SORRY ASS NOW HUH?!

I was never one of the popular kids. I was never one of you! I didn't go to parties, I didn't waste my time on you. I have a dream and I am going to pursue it.

You have nothing to say to me and I have nothing to say to you. You are a backstabbing friend that left me feeling empty, insecure and alone. I'd rather be all of those than to be hurt by you ever again.

You fucked me over for three years now. Instead of crying over how much you hurt me, I just start hating you more and more every time. Don't you pray for me. Just do your sucky ass you. Everyday I see that I am not a part of you and boy am I glad. FUCK HOW YOU FEEL! I may be a little mental but that's okay, I just want to spread my wings and fly.

I've got broken wings, I keep dying, keep trying. No I won't give up, Oh I am dying, I'm flying.


	7. 3 Years

Nothing ever goes as planned. Everything will break. People will say goodbye or just leave without doing so. I used to rely on you. I used to trust you but I guess that was just my mistake.

It took me 2 years of not knowing what was wrong with me, 2 years of believing that I wasn't good enough, to figure out that you'd never except me anyways. I changed for you guys and all you did was throw me to the sides like a piece of trash.

You want to say otherwise, I'm sure but it's the truth. I was never invited to hang out, never invited to parties, never included in any of your plans because you just wanted to be with the four of you. If you don't want me around anymore, fine but let me go. Let me be alone it is better than keep hurting about what you've done.

You guys never noticed but I changed myself to fit in because I am insecure and self conscious all the time. I thought you guys would like me better if I changed who I was but it didn't work. I was still pushed aside as usual and I had thrown myself away, replaced myself with a fake me.

It took me those 2 years of not knowing to find out that I have a depression. How much I want to blame myself for it but I have to say that you guys had influence in it too. It's not like you treated me like a real friend and I guess I never really was.

I will now after 3 years keep on battling with depression, only this time I am running away. I've grown strong enough to say goodbye, to leave our happy and my sad moments behind. I have to start over but I don't think I can trust anyone anymore. I am tired of being hurt, tired of being played. I am tired of pretending, tired of being around you.

You guys will never read this but it feels good to me to have this written down and out in the world. For anyone that wants to change their selfs to fit in, please don't. Nothing but trouble comes of it because one thing I've learned is that friends are temporary. Changing yourself will only lead you to find yourself broken into millions of pieces. Please do me one favour and never change yourself, even if you end up alone. Someone will come along the way and make you feel worthy. Because after al no one is perfect but you are just the way you are and no one should change that.


	8. The choice is yours

The choice is yours

All this time I followed everyone around. Following their opinions because I believed that they were the only ones that mattered. I didn't dare to speak up because I was scared to be wrong.

I lived a life for 3 years that I didn't want to live. A life I could have changed if I had made the right choice. Because in the end it is you who decides what is going to happen to your life. You are the one responsible for what you choose and if you chose the wrong path, there will be a time to fix it.

I want everyone to use the voice they have been given. Speak up for yourself, show them that no one can be just like you are. Be who you are, never let anyone influence you.

I've made a choice years back which I some days regret and some days I am thankful that I made that choice. If I hadn't done that, I might have never picked up writing.

One day I looked in the mirror and said "You have suffered enough" I found courage to get myself out of a path I didn't want to be in. I chose to leave things behind and to be honest, it was the best decision I made in years. It feels great to finally be able to let go. I can't go back now and even though I don't know where my decision may lead me, I will be able to leave the past behind me.

I want to tell everyone to speak up for who they are. I want you to make decisions even though you are scared. Sometimes letting go was all you needed.

I closed a chapter of my life and even though that is scary, it's a step I had to take and I am proud that I did it on my own.


	9. I am a creep

I am a creep

I've wanted to be with you but you are gone. When you were here, I just couldn't look you in the eyes. You look like an angel. Dressed in white with a light casting upon your frame

You float around like a feather, into the beautiful world. I wish I was special, so very special, like you.

But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. I don't know what I am doing here because I just don't belong here. I don't care if it hurts all I've ever wanted was control. All I wanted was a perfect body, a perfect soul. I want you to notice when I am gone, like everyone does with you. God I wish I was special.

I am running away. From the problems. From the hurt. From the pain. From life. Because no one will be as special as you. "Whatever makes you happy" they say. Than please leave me alone because I'm not special. Not like you.


	10. Happy for you

Happy for you

Cold. It's so cold. You see me standing but I'm on the ground dying. The cold seeping through my bones. I'm frozen. Frozen in pain.

Maybe if I stop crying, I won't feel anymore. I wish I wouldn't feel this way. I don't want to feel cold. I don't want to be frozen because all things frozen tend to shatter.

You are dancing with her while I am standing at the sidelines, watching you be happy. It feels like there had been a stake driven through my heart but I am happy for you. Even if I don't understand.

I was your amber but now she is your gold. Know that I tried to feel happy for you and I am. I will take the pain.

If happy is her than I am happy for you. It's time to say goodbye. Me and my heart will make it through.


End file.
